Be gay, do crime

They told me to be gay and do crime so now I

am literally crouched in a dimly lit warehouse,

because I am gay and about to do a crime.

I believe in gay excellence, so the crime is a

heist, because I am peak gay and heists are

the pinnacle of crime. I am wearing a black

turtleneck and everything. I have a fake ID on

me and also a real ID. In both of them I am

gay, but only in one of them am I doing crime.

Since being gay is legal now it has been

harder to do crime. I used to do crime all the

time. Just by breathing I was doing crime.

When I sat down, that was an illegal act. I was

always an outlaw. It was very romantic. But

now that I am a normal legitimate acceptable

person, I have to create my own romance.

I recently read a book called Asexual Erotics.

It's about finding a zest for life. I’m asexual

because now that being gay is allowed, I

don't care about sex anymore. There is more

eroticism and tension in crime. But the reality

is, crime, like everything worthwhile, is just a

lot of planning. Planning feels like the antithesis

of spontaneity, which does not feel very romantic.

I am trying to reconcile effort with reward with

who I really want to be in this world.

I am gay and doing crime. I sometimes wonder 

if this is enough. Is it enough to be gay and 

doing crime, or do I need to be seen to be gay 

and doing crime? But if I purposefully let myself 

be seen, then it becomes harder to do more 

crimes. And maybe the crime also becomes

performance art. Anyway, ssssshhh it's starting. 

The heist, I mean. I am gay and about to do 

a crime. Are you gay? If you are, you need 

to come do this crime with me. They said so.

Yes, you. Here. Right now.

Zephyr Zhang 张挚 spends their days being gay and doing crime. Their writing has featured in Cordite, Landfall, Starling, Symposia and elsewhere. Find more of Zephyr's work at zephyrzhang.com.